now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
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I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
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I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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