the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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