I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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