Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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