It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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