I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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