While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he shaved USA in his pubs
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love makes seman taste better
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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