My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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