My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize