it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
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Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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