marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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