pop tarts are not kleenex
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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