Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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