I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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