My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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