then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize