There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
sarcasm needs its own font
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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