Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have demons in me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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