im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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