If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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