The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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