I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize