he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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