Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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