my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize