My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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