I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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