I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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