so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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