In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
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Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
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I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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