Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize