According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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