Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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