did you get engaged???
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Are we still banned from the library?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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