I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize