Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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