made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize