He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
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