Dual....:-)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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