Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
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He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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