Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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