I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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