More tranny stories later!
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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