I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
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My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
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A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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