I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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