all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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