We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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