That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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