You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize