I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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